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Updated: Feb 5, 2022

Do you want to have an incredible relationship?

Great career?

Incredible health?

High level fitness?

To experience Joy and fulfilment consistently?

If you haven't got what you want, how do you get it?

Well, one way is through modeling.

NLP modeling is the process that can enable people to master the abilities of others by understanding their strategies, beliefs and actions and installing the same programming into themselves.

It's the act of figuring out exactly what a person is doing to get great results and copying them.

In life we have learnt what we know from somewhere.

It's fun to get an idea of who we modeled in our past because sometime we discover we are getting very similar results as they were.

Our health is a simple one. Are you happy with your health? Unless you have done your own personal growth and research then you are likely modeling what your parents did growing up.

If you eat the way they did, exercise in the way they did, sleep, stress and take care of yourself the way they did then you'll likely be on track to getting very similar results as they got with their health.

Example of modeling:

If you wanted to become a great fisherman; would you model the fisherman who catches hardly any fish? Or would you model the fisherman who catches a lot of fish?

Which fisherman would you take your - “how to fish” advice from?

Well, if you want to be a great fisherman It only makes sense that we would model the great fisherman, right?

We would figure out what the great fisherman is doing to get consistent results.

How does he think about fishing?

What patterns does he look for in the weather?

What strategies is he using to catch so many fish?

What does he believe about fishing?

What equipment does he use?

What patterns does he follow as a fisherman?


We would look for the finer details that distinguishes him from the fisherman not catching fish.

In modeling him, then we could become a great fisherman too.

Modeling is a significant subject because we all model regardless of whether we are conscious of it or not. When we get conscious of our modeling we can not only recognised our past modeling and notice where and how we may have developed patterns and results we are getting that we no longer want. We can then take action to transform them old patterns into new, higher performing patterns and results we do want.

A little background in modeling and human development

Sociologist Morris Massey has described three major periods during which values are developed.

The Imprint Period

Up to the age of seven, we are like sponges, absorbing everything around us and accepting much of it as true, especially when it comes from our parents. The confusion and blind belief of this period can also lead to the early formation of trauma and other deep problems.

The critical thing here is to learn a sense of right and wrong, good and bad. This is a human construction which we nevertheless often assume would exist even if we were not here (which is an indication of how deeply imprinted it has become).

The Modeling Period

Between the ages of eight and thirteen, we copy people, often our parents, but also others. Rather than blind acceptance of their values, we are trying them on like a suit of clothes, to see how they feel.

At this age we may be much impressed with religion or our teachers. You may remember being particularly influenced by junior school teachers who seemed so knowledgeable--maybe even more so than your parents.

The Socialisation Period

Between 13 and 21, we are very largely influenced by our peers. As we develop as individuals and look for ways to get away from the earlier programming, we naturally turn to people who seem more like us.

Other influences at these ages include the media, especially those parts which seem to resonate with our the values of our peer groups.

We all grew up learning primarily through modeling those around us via conscious and unconscious processes. The function of mirror neurons playing a significant role in motor learning and development.

This may be obvious to some, but many people look past who they are modeling.

Especially in the areas of their lives that they are not happy with.

We have to learn what we know from somewhere.

Take language for example, we don't really remember learning language but we all had a fairly good vocabulary by the age of 4-5.

Which we learnt through a mostly unconscious process of observation, copying, then some teaching from our parents/guardians.

As children we are like sponges. When we are around it we model it.

In a similar way we also happen to learn how to cope with our emotions, how to behave in relationships, to treat our partner verbally, physically, energetically, what love means in action, how to treat ourselves, how to eat, how often we should exercise among other routines.

Some questions we can ask ourselves:

Who am I modelling in the area of love and relationships?

Where/who did I observe and learn how to love and connect to others?

Am I doing what they did?

Do I want their results for my life?

Who can I model in order to get the results I want for my life?

How do they communicate?

What do they believe about relationships?

What routines and habits do they follow which makes them so connected and fulfilled together?

Who am I modelling in the area of health and wellness?

Where did I get my current health and wellness habits?

Do I want their results for my life?

Who can I model in order to get the results I want for my life?

What do they believe about health and wellness?

What routines and habits do they follow which makes them so healthy and well?

Who am I modelling in the area of joy and fulfilment?

Do I want their results for my life?

Who can I model in order to get the results I want in my life?

What do they believe about themselves?

What do they believe about life?

What patterns of thinking have they developed?

What routines and habits do they follow which makes them so joyful and fulfilled?

Some common patterns I have observed in joyful people are:

They have developed an unconscious habit of being very grateful for littlest things and each and every day they have alive.

They are real but optimistic, they celebrate the little things, they laugh a lot and they can laugh at themselves.

They have worked on their insecurities, they have standards, personal boundaries and they look after themselves.

They are mostly focused on what they want, they have learnt to accept what is and let go of what was.

They stay active, they enjoy their food and they spend quality time with quality people.

They reframe the things that upset them to give them a more positive light.

They give a positive meaning to what hurts, and they are present in day to day life.

They have given a meaning to their life. They have decided what life means to them.

Who are you modeling?


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