Updated: Jan 13
A self coaching process to uncover your life values and understand how to achieve your own version of success.
The word "success" means many things to different people. I am defining success in this blog in terms of "the fulfilment of ones individual life values".
How do we succeed?
Before we succeed we must define success.
What does success look, sound and feel like for you?
How will you know when you are successful?
What has to happen for you to consider yourself a "success" ?
Often people think having 20 million dollar a year income from their business will make them feel successful but if that same person achieved that business/financial goal and at the same time they sacrificed their health and lost the love and respect of their family, will they still feel successful?
Well, if this person truly values his/her health and family then I think they would not feel like a success.
They would have plenty of money but they would likely not be able to feel like a true success without the fulfilment of what is most important to him in their life - their highest values.
Uncovering Your Values
We can first start by taking a pen and paper.
Begin by asking ourselves the following two questions and journal the answers:
"What is most important to me in life?"...What else?...What else?"
"What makes life worth living? ...What else?...What else?"
Continue to ask these questions until you begin repeating the same answers.
You will end up with a list of things such as:
Spending quality time with my family.
Success in my career.
My health and fitness.
Hanging out with good friends.
These answers are your highest values.
Now take these answers and put them into a hierarchy by asking yourself:
"Out of all of these values, what is the number one, absolute most important thing to me in my life?"
And you might say...
"Well family is the most important thing to me."
So you put that a the top of a new list.
If you are unsure between two, then ask..
"If I could pick only one and had to live without the other, what would I pick?"
And continue asking...
"What is the next most important thing to me in my life?"
and you will end with a list in a hierarchy:
1. Quality time with family.
2. Success in my career.
3. My health and fitness.
4. Hanging out with good friends.
Now you have your top values in a hierarchy.
These values are what is most important to you in your life, in order.
These are what make your life worth living.
They are your life force.
So now we want to ask:
"What does it take to successfully fulfil my number #1 value?"
"What has to happen in order to know I have/am fulfilling this value?"
"How do I know when I am fulfilling this value?'
Start with number #1 and work down from there to at least #7.
We want to understand how to fulfil our top 7 values because they have the most force.
For example, In your journal you might write something like the following:
1. Quality time with family: "I am successfully fulfilling my value of quality time with family when I am spending one of my weekend days with my family, totally undistracted, quality time. I will also make time to have at least 3 dinners per night with them."
2. Success in my career: "When I am earning X amount per month after tax, finding ways to enjoying my time at work and having two hours to spend with the kids in the afternoons, I will be successfully fulfilling my career value."
3. My health and fitness: I consider myself successfully fulfilling my value for health and fitness when I follow my workout routine at least 3 days per week, eat 2 serves of mixed vegetables 6 days per week and maintain my weight between 180-190lb."
Etc... to value #7
Now you understand what you highest values are and how to know when you are fulfilling them.
When you give your energy to fulfil these top values in a balanced and sustainable way you will feel successful, abundant and alive.
If you believe you are fulfilling these and yet you still have a deep sense of lack or you feel like you are still "not enough yet". This is a clear sign that you have some inner game issues, some limiting beliefs to work through and/or need to work through self-worth/self-esteem issues.
I help people get clear on their values, their definition of success and overcome their limiting beliefs and self worth issues in my coaching.
If this is you feel free to reach out for a free chat to discuss how I can help you.
I hope you got value out of this exercise.
Thank you, good luck and best wishes.
Enjoy the journey,